Parenting A Child With Additional Needs – It Is Well With My Soul

I heard an old hymn rearranged in a new way recently, and it deeply touched me.  The words so powerful, so amazing, impacted me in a new way.  The song had been introduced with the harrowing story of the songwriter, Horatio Spafford, and how against all the odds he was able to write such amazing words.  His children dead, his finances in ruin, separated by a long ocean journey from his grieving wife, he faced much more than any of us will ever face, and yet he was able to pen the words “It is well with my soul”.

The harrowing but faith filled story of Horatio Spafford can be found here:

I really sensed God minister to me as I sang the words of this old hymn (see the words at the end of this blog post).  I felt him healing something in me, something that needed to be mended, to be dealt with, to be redeemed.  Parenting a child with additional needs is hard, it is often full of joy too, but there are days when hope seems a long way away.  Days when we just don’t know what today will bring, let alone any future beyond that.  Days when, like Horatio Spafford, everything seems to have been torn away or lies in ruins.

It was James’ 16th birthday recently, an important milestone for most teenagers, although for James and for us, although we marked the day and celebrated it with and for him, it seemed a hollow celebration.  James has had a very tough year, during which he had been diagnosed with epilepsy to add to the autism and learning disability diagnoses he has always had.  He has developed an anxiety issue around going out of the house, so hasn’t been at school since July last year, or out of the house at all (except a couple of steps) since December.  His limited development has regressed over the year.  Another birthday arriving just seemed like another confirmation of the struggles James faces, and that we face with him together.  Struggles that can sometimes weigh ever so heavily.

So, as I heard Spaffords story, and started to sing the words of his hymn, there was a lot weighing on my soul.  But as I joined in singing those amazing, affirming, words with the other wonderful saints in the room, something happened in me.  The words were like a balm to my soul, they broke through the pain and the worry and showed me afresh the love that Jesus has for me, for James, for each of us.  Whatever may come, whatever the future might hold, his love remains with us.

I am reminded of the words of Psalm 42 “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  When can I go and meet with God?  My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’  These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng. Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.  My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon — from Mount Mizar.  Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.  By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me — a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God my Rock, ‘Why have you forgotten me?  Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?’  My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’  Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.”

In singing the wonderfully moving words of Spafford’s hymn, and in reading the deeply challenging words of this amazing Psalm, then with the Psalmist I can say “Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.” and I can singIt is well, it is well, with my soul.”

There is hope, there is always hope in Jesus.  There is always peace to be found in him.  I will pour out my soul to him and find healing, and whatever the next year brings we don’t go into it or through it alone.  We go together, and we go with confidence in Christ who goes with us; for if Jesus can sustain the faith and hope of Horatio Spafford, he can sustain us too.  It is well, it is well with my soul…



Mark Arnold
21stJune 2018

“It Is Well With My Soul”  Horatio Spafford 1876

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul

It is well
With my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul

It is well (it is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, o my soul

It is well (it is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul

Bible passage used in this blog post:
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

 Image rights: Authors own


7 thoughts on “Parenting A Child With Additional Needs – It Is Well With My Soul

  1. Thank you Mark for this.No words really, but tonnes of love to you and Mrs Blogfather,I hadn’t realized what a long time it was since James had been out.Oh for a space where he would feel safe and comfortable out of the house, but what a testament to you both that you have created this at home.One of the things that makes it “well with my soul”is the safe community space you and others have created online to share our challenges honestly.Wouldn’t it be lovely if e could make little James’ safe spaces over the country, where he would feel fine.(Perhaps signposted by a gigantic Winnie the Pooh?!)I’ll keep praying that he has peace in his heart and mind so all those tricky things, like sensory overload,transitions and changes in routine would be easier for hime to navigate.Much love to you and yours from me,Pearl and Scotties all x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful as always Mark and resonates with so many parents but especially those with specific challenges. The hymn a great reminder as I look out and wonder ‘what next?’. It is well with my soul too xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mark, once again you have beautifully described our Wonderful Hope despite all else. We count you and Mrs A dear friends with deep hearts for Jesus and his kingdom. Blessings to you. I am increasingly drawn afresh to the beatitudes as a source of inspiration. Your family are truly modelling the way of Christ Mark. Blessed are you. Much love James and Sarah and fam.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Mark,

    I can’t tell you how much your blogs challenge and bless me. Wish I could reply to each one. It’s so good getting to know James through your eyes.

    I don’t know if you’ve seen the attached. You know it anyway but it just hit me between the eyes. (Saw it on The Jigsaw Tree Facebook page.)

    Have a great week – all of you. 🙂

    God bless,


    Tim Moyler Thorne Barton Mirey Lane Woodbury EXETER EX5 1DX

    Tel: 01395 239 130

    Mobile: 07899 866 102

    Skype name: timmoyler


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.