Recognising And Respecting Choices: A Trip To The New Forest with James

Thursday’s for James usually follow a familiar pattern, he likes the predictability of his routines, but sometimes he can make a different choice. This Thursday was one of those occasions, and recognising and respecting that choice was important.

Usually, after a few snacks for lunch, we take James to the Community Centre for his craft class. Afterwards, he likes us to take him to the McDonald’s drive through nearby and then to Poole Park where we sit and eat our take-away. We then go on the Studland ferry across to the Isle of Purbeck, and enjoy a drive around over there… that’s what usually happens anyway… but not this week!

When I showed James his stack of laminated picture cards for all the places we go (there are loads of them, even including ‘Dentist’ and ‘Farm Shop’), he pulled out the one for the McDonald’s drive through in the New Forest. He carefully took my finger, pointed it at the picture of chicken nuggets and chips, and then looking intently at me, pointed my finger at the picture of McDonald’s. He did this several times, just to make sure I understood. James has almost no spoken communication, so he couldn’t articulate the words he was wanting to tell me, but with everything he had he was telling me that this specific place was where he wanted to go… not any McDonald’s, this one…

It meant a different afternoon to the one that was planned, it meant not going to the craft class, it meant not going on the ferry or around the Isle of Purbeck, but it meant respecting James’ choices, his wish to go somewhere else, so that’s what we did.

James really enjoyed his trip to the McDonald’s drive through in the New Forest, he was beaming with joy as we went there, and tucked into his food after we parked up nearby to look out over the forest and watch the ponies and cows that were there. We continued on afterwards to have a lovely drive around the New Forest, including seeing Lepe beach, before heading home.

James did really well, he was happy, his transitions were quick, he was engaged, in part because we had listened to him and recognised and respected his wishes. He felt heard. He felt cared for and loved. And he was filled with joy.

Sometimes it is hard to know what a child, young person, or adult with additional needs might be trying to communicate to us, especially if their communication is unconventional, but if we tune in to them, give them opportunities to creatively let us know what they are thinking and wanting to tell us, then we can make such a big difference to how they feel included, how they feel accepted, and how they can know that their choices are recognised and respected.

Is there someone you journey with, either as a family member, as a children’s or youth worker, or maybe in a schools context, that you can help to share with you what choices they are making? They might tell you something you didn’t expect!

Peace,

Mark

See also:
A Creative Way To Use AI To Enhance Communication
https://theadditionalneedsblogfather.com/2025/09/17/a-creative-way-to-use-ai-to-enhance-communication/